


Medieval Battle

by Charlotte_Lancer



Series: Permanently Unfinished [6]
Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Gen, Magic, Not Beta Read, Time Travel, medieval times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-06 16:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15890211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Lancer/pseuds/Charlotte_Lancer
Summary: Ben, Barry, and Mike accidentally get teleported back in time while filming a battle, becoming their costumes in the process, and  leaving James and Jamie to try to get them back.





	1. Back In Time

**Author's Note:**

> See the chapter end note for potential warnings. Nothing too major, but there is a potential trigger for some people in here.

Today they were filming a medieval themed battle, and the smell of stews and freshly baked breads filled the studio. Though the audience wouldn’t be able to enjoy the smells, they would certainly enjoy the costumes; Jamie had found an archer’s costume, complete with a bow strapped to his side. Barry was dressed in a questionably-historical mage’s robe, and had talked Mike into wearing a pointy-hatted princess costume. So far, all of the costumes had proven difficult to cook in, and as such Barry’s fake beard and Mike’s gloves had both been cast aside near the beginning of the battle.

“12 Minutes,” called James from his position outside the counters. He glanced down at Jamie’s dish, trying to judge whether it would be cooked in within the time limit. He was about to make a suggestion to Jamie, but before he got the chance to speak, a blindingly bright green glow overtook the studio. The opaque glow lasted several seconds, and though James stayed silent, he could hear various names being shouted by different voices, all laced with confusion and fear. A loud crash signalled that something metal had fallen to the floor, and the green fog cleared as if signalled.

When he could see again, he saw Jamie standing across from him gripping the counter so tight his knuckles were white. The only person behind Jamie was one of the camera girls, shaking with fright. The pan Mike had been holding was on the floor, as if the person holding it had just disappeared. Barry and Ben were also nowhere to be seen.

Jamie snapped out of his shock, letting go of the counter and turning off the stove. “What the hell just happened?” He turned around, taking in the scene before him before turning back to James. “Where is everyone?”

“I don’t know. Is the rest of the crew still here?” He raised his voice on the last part, and got a chorus of “yes”s confirming that only the three were missing. James stared down at the spilled pan on the floor, his throat tightening at the sight.

“Where are they?” And were they O.K.?, he wondered privately.

“Where are we?” Asked Ben, coming to only to find himself in a lush green forest. Barry was beside him, also just waking up, and Mike was several feet from them, facing away and still asleep. Barry didn’t answer, and Ben leaned forward to check on Mike. He put his hand on Mike’s shoulder, confused to find that the pink costume dress felt much less rough than expected from cheap polyester. He was even more confused when Mike rolled over to face him, and had seemingly become a girl while they were unconscious. Even without the beard, he was still recognisably Mike, but certain other new features meant that he was also recognisably, well, female. Ben elected to let Mike notice on his own, and Barry seemed to agree.

Mike looked at Ben and gestured to their surroundings. “How did we end up in the forest?” His voice was slightly higher, but apparently not enough for Mike to notice. Ben wondered if whatever had turned Mike into his costume had also affected Barry.

“I have no idea. I only just woke up a few seconds before you. Barry, do you have any idea what’s going on?” Ben looked at Barry, who just shrugged. The purple wizard hat levitated off of Barry’s head when he raised his shoulders, falling back down as they did. Barry immediately tried it again. It worked.

“Oh my god, I’m magic!” He started pointing to random things, trying to float them with his mind.

“Wait,” said Mike, “If you’re a wizard now, then…” He looked down and sighed. “Of course it would be _this_ battle that this happens. Why couldn’t I have just been a bard? Good job Ben’s not in costume, at least.”

Ben considered. He was reasonably certain he hadn’t known how to cook a Dodo before whatever the green cloud had done to him. “Actually…”

 

Ten minutes later they had established that Ben now had an extensive knowledge of Medieval cooking techniques, Barry could do magic but not to send them home, and Mike could now speak all the languages that would be expected of 16th-century royalty. Now if only they could somehow figure out how to get back to their own time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aforementioned warnings: Temporary sex swap, due to magic. Mentions of Dodo Birds being eaten.


	2. Chapter 2

“It looks like it’s going to get dark soon, we should try to set up some sort of camp,” said Ben.

 

“I’ve got the knife I was holding, and my key. What did you end up with, Mike?”

 

“Breasts.” 

 

Barry choked, catching Mike’s attention. 

 

“Hey, Barry got magic, maybe he can magic us up a tent.”

 

Barry looked around at the darkening forest. “Worth a shot,” he said. He stared at a spot between two thick trees, focusing for several moments to no avail. His eyes screwed shut, and a moderately-sized beige tent flicked in and out of existence. Seconds later it solidified into a triangular mass, before flicking again to reappear with stakes in place.

 

Barry opened his eyes, and the tent stayed. Cautiously, they approached it. Mike poked at it with a long branch, and when nothing happened, he pulled the door-flap open and stepped inside.

 

“Barry, have you ever actually seen the inside of a tent before? Because I don’t recall them having electricity and running water.” Mike sat himself on the surprisingly ornate sofa that occupied a corner the tent’s surprisingly large interior, and waited for Barry and Ben to enter. Barry’s magic apparently stopped just short of conjuring up more than two inside walls, so from his position on the couch Mike could see just about everything in the tent.

 

A small kitchen occupied the corner opposite the sitting area, while another was filled by a bedroom, and the last by the walled-off section that Mike suspected was a toilet. The furniture was a mish-mash of styles, ranging from a bed that seemed lifted straight from an IKEA catalogue, to an ancient-looking intricately carved wooden table inlaid with marble and painted porcelain. A woven tapestry hung on one wall, matching in colour to the cheap faux-fur rug that was spread across the floor. Only the triangular ceiling and the canvas walls carried any hint that the structure they occupied was a tent.

 

Ben did a double-take as he entered the tent, stopping short as he took in the bizzare surroundings. He recovered quickly as Barry walked in behind him, neatly stepping to the side to allow Barry to see his creation.

 

“Maybe the magic could use some more practice. Much better than a pup-tent, though.” Neither Mike nor Ben could find it in themselves to disagree.

 

A quick repurposing of the rug and tapestry meant the bedroom now had makeshift walls, and a few hard shoves to the couch meant it lined up well enough with the narrow bed that they could all lay comfortably, provided the couch back was set as the headboard.

 

Once those matters were attended to, Ben set about making dinner. A task that, despite the iron-and-fire stove that for some reason occupied the kitchen, and despite the odd ingredients that filled fridge, was rendered simple by the sudden acquisition of strange 1500s-style techniques.

……….

A review of the footage proved to be no help at all; the frames from the time of the disappearance were solid green, and nothing seemed out of place in the minutes before. James was at a loss as to what had happened, and judging by the look on the other man’s face, Jamie was no closer to solving the mystery.

 

They were working alone in the studio, the rest if the crew sent home in case whatever had happened happened again. Most of the crew had tried to stay, but they had allowed no arguments, promising updates as soon as they found something out.

 

It didn't look like they'd find anything soon. Reluctantly, James switched off his computer, and walked over to check Mike, Barry, and Ben's things for any clues. 

 

A quick search proved that nothing was amiss with Ben or Mike's things, but Barry's phone was missing. Hopefully he had it on him. James pulled out his own phone, walking back over to Jamie as he dialed the familiar number. 

……….

They had just finished eating when a loud buzz sounded from Barry’s hat. Mike and Ben looked concerned at the sound, but Barry only looked surprised for a moment before reaching to pull his cell phone from his hat. He swiped across to answer the call, then set it to speaker. 

 

“James?” asked Barry.

 

“Barry? Are you alright? Are Ben and Mike with you?” Barry could hear an edge of worry in James’ voice, accompanied by the slight echoing that meant he was also on speaker.

 

“We’re all o.k., and we’re all here, but we’re not entirely sure where ‘here’ is.” With some if the animals they had seen in the forest, Barry wasn't even sure  _ when _ here was. He heard two relieved sighs over the line.

 

Jamie spoke next. “We’re going to find a way to get you guys home no matter what, don’t worry.” Barry couldn't help but smile at the determination in his friend’s voice.

 

“Never doubted it for a second, J.” 

 

Several more minutes of conversation confirmed that no one else had disappeared, and allowed James to question them on exactly what they had been doing when the green fog hit. After more reassurances that they'd all be home soon, the call ended. No one had the stomach to say goodbye.


End file.
